Sunday, April 21, 2013

"Single White Female Looking for a Woman like ...."

I know that every morning you go thumbing through the personal want ads. You grab the latest copy, a cup of coffee, and settle in for a good time, trying to find something to catch your eye, hoping and praying that today's edition is gonna catch your attention... 

"Single white female looking for that special lover. A one Women Woman who doesn't want no other !  

Oh, you never can tell She just might be your dream come true. A single white female looking for a woman like you !

Ok ... so this is definitely not my choice of words, not that I wouldn't want to put words together like that. It's just that they are not mine! The words are a slightly adapted version of Cheryl Wrights "Single White Female" - a popish country song. You can watch the music video here or the slightly twisted edition from Capital Pride here).

I've been pondering the question of Looking. Not the stalking kind of looking, but rather the kind of Looking you would do if you where Looking for Love. For a woman to share your life with or maybe - if that's your thing - a woman to share a shortish fling.

Who will catch your eye ? The Bookish Butch Woman from Montréal or the Femme ? I for one hate the labels ! Why would you want to divide the world in Butch / Femme ... in those who put on a nice shade of lipstick to go out and those who keep their hair short, in whom shave their legs and whom doesn't, in which women wear heels and which prefer comfortable shoes, in who reads F/F romance's to relax and who tinker with her car for exactly the same reason ?

And what about the woman who change the wheels on her car on Saturday morning, puts on comfortable boots for a walk in the afternoon, and gets herself ready for going out ... in lipstick and heels in the evening ? What label would you put on her ? 

Let's leave the labels behind and take a look around the F/F Universe. This is a place for stereotypes and that's actually a lot like labels, but who cares it just for fun .... right?!

So I'm out looking for love ... hopefully in the right places ... and where would I go if I wanted a gentle(wo)man. "Love in Photographs" by Alex Tryst would be a good place to start. I'm not really an Alex Tryst fan, probably because the stereotypes got to strong for me, but the photographer Torrance might be a match for ... Annett Benning. Torrance is talented and rich (a nice combination), and she finds what her heart is looking for in her model Helen ... but she has to put in a bit of work to get what she wants !

I am a big Badsquirrel fan, but "Dark Side of the Moon" explores a way of life that is really not my cup of tea, it might be yours, so if the world of BDSM and a bit of gender bending is what you are looking for then I think that Jordan -  master of the house - might be able to match Annett Benning in style!

I know that Milla Jovovich and her Versace Jeans is not new to you, but this picture reminds me of Sheridan of Vertigo's "Caution: Under Construction". Sheridan is a woman in trades, a skilled construction worker and a womaniser, who meets her match in Keefer, a building inspector with a love interest ... Sheridan! You can read this for the hot stuff .... or just for the romance.

When we speak of women of trades I have to mention "Rumors" by Badsquirrel. This is where you'll meet Kelly the auto mechanic with the softest of soft hearts, all of it invested in the memory of a teenage crush on Hannah - the owner of "Doggie Styles". This is among my absolute favourites.

I'll leave the picture of Milla Jovovich while pointing you in the direction of Eunice, the owner of a horse farm (is that a rancher ??) with a broken heart, which will heal to the tones of Molly's guitar and soft songs in Dee's "Fenced Fields", but I'm not done with the women of trades. I have to introduce you to Sara from L.A. Tucker's "The Light Fantastic". This is a great story where you'll find Sara playing the role as "Jack of all trades" at her brothers up and coming golf course while hiding from the world. Well that is until Chloe gets her hands on her heart.

If you like the women of trades, you might also fancy Cordie. She is captain of the swordfishing boat "Dawn Piper". You might ask why you should go visit with Cordie .... what kind of romance could a week long  swordfishing trip amount to for a lesbian among a crew of fishermen .... ok ok - I'll give you a clue ... Cordie is ordered to take out the boss's daughter and introduce her to the world of swordfishing! I'll leave the rest to your imagination or to the pen of Barbara Davies in "Beneath the Surface". This is Bound to fascinate you ;-)

It's been rather easy to find F/F stories picturing the stereotype gentle(wo)men wearing a suit, sporting a manish name, and harbouring a heart just waiting for the right woman to tear down the walls build around it. 

I find it a bit more difficult to locate the "women I want" when I go looking for the opposite. The women with a clearly feminine touch, a nice shade of lipstick, wearing skirt and heels, not for the sake of an office job, but because this is her preference. It's not that these women don't exist in F/F stories, they do. I think that it's just that they don't stand out as much as the stereotype manish lesbians. If you are looking for the feminine touch you can follow along as I hunt for women in heels. 

A couple of women in heels and nice dresses ..... well I do think that Beth and Amy of Fingersmiths "Once" lets our minds eye enjoy them in pretty gowns for a wedding. Now don't jump ahead of the storyline - it's definitely not their wedding, they are just friends (!) - but I guess that it's safe to say that each of them would love to be more than that .... if they could only find a way.

I think that it's also safe to say that Mimi looks quit stunning in her gown for the charity auction which proves to be her first date with her stepsister Jolly, whom Mimi has had the BIGGEST crush on since puberty...... I guess that the almost incestuous reference might sound a bit upsetting, but trust me on this, Mimi looks good in her gown and equally good when dressed in leather or in the buff ... and once her master carpenter and architect Jolly gets past the sisterhood thing Molly do get a chance to take charge of her life and of Jolly's. In case you are wondering this is Ali Vali's "A Place to Dance"

As for heels I do think that Torrey fund a pair to go with her pant suit when Taylor finally found the time and place to take her out! This is B.L.Millers "None So Blind", and if you haven't read this romance yet, I think you should. Torrey and Taylor goes way back, but - as usual - a misunderstanding had them separate before they could declare their love. So we get their story in flashbacks while we follow the slow rekindling of their friendship and the reshaping of their future ... it's an enjoyable read.

I'll keep on the lookout for women in heel's - let me know if you get lucky .... NO not that kind of lucky ! Just you know lucky ...  as in stumbling on a woman in heels - preferably purple ones in your reading.


  1. I definitely see a lot of stereotypes in lesfic. I don't dislike butches or femmes, but I feel like MOST lesbians do not fall under such strict categories. I like to use the term 'dyke' to describe myself. I am not femme, not butch, just a dyke.

    1. I feel the word "dyke" still brings to many peoples mind an image of a short haired, buff woman.

    2. I've always loved the "feel" of the sentence "Girls who Love Girls" more than the labellike terms of Lesbian, Dyke, Gay or whatever. This haven't changed with age besides the fact that I might be more inclined to say "Women who Love Women" ....

      How do you chose to refer to your "girlfriend" - do you use the word ... partner, wife, significant other, my lover, spouse or ... I've always preferred the word "girlfriend" even if this might not quite catch the meaning of a committed relationship in the best of ways ...

    3. At least for me, the term dyke brings forth images of the middle spectrum of lesbians, not very butch or very femme, possibly androgynous. But I guess, like a lot of words, it depends on personal experience.

      Labels can be annoying at times... no one likes to boil down something super complex to one word. But at the same time, they sure as hell simplify things, even if they are not 100% accurate. It is easier for me to tell someone I am a lesbian, or a dyke, rather than going into a 5 minute monologue about my sexual orientation, expression and identity. I figure people who matter enough to me to get close to me can figure out the fine details if they care to.

      Never had a relationship to refer to, but I have thought it out a bit. I figure, while dating I would go with 'girlfriend'. Once it got serious, I like the term 'partner'. But each of the terms has benefits and downsides. Partner is nice, but could also refer to something like a business partner. I feel like the term 'wife' is super tied to the word 'husband', so I like something more neutral. 'Girlfriend', as UK mentioned, doesn't really implicate a long term commitment. 'Significant other' sounds nice, but takes forever to say. It is interesting how different people view and use different labels in lesbian culture, both for themselves and their loved ones.

    4. ... and what I find interesting in this line of thought is the fact that "we" would feel inclined to express our sexual orientation specifically ... I know that a woman who refers to her "husband" is not only referring to her "significant other" but also stating her sexual orientation. On the other hand I would guess that most of us would probably "only" register her statement as a reference to the fact that she has a ”partner", not as a statement of a specific sexual orientation.

      So ... I guess that I would love to have a gender neutral or an other kind of asexualorientationlike phrase ;-) to use in situations where I only want to state the fact that I'm in a relationship, but not get into the question of sexuality.

      Not that I can really think of an asexual phrase to suggest and I can't really imagine that a new phrase would feel natural in everyday use.... so I guess that I'm stuck with my "girlfriend" or "partner" for now, but if anyone asks me to elaborate on my sexuality I'll still refer to the fact that I'm a woman who just happens to like women or rather one women I should say ;-)